Sunday, May 8, 2011

A Mother's Day Gift to Myself

A Mother’s Day Gift to Myself

It’s been a while since I’ve posted on this blog. I started off with the best of intentions. So what has happened? Where did I disappear to? The vortex that we call motherhood, I guess. Finding time in my schedule for me has been difficult for the last almost ten years. It has been increasingly difficult with each new & wonderful addition to our family. This has been especially true since my three year-old son (third child) got an autism spectrum diagnosis last summer. My six year-old son got the same diagnosis when he was three.

It is a lot of work to provide a special needs child with what they need to develop in the beginning of such an adventure. There is much therapy involved, dietary changes, and many meetings to attend never mind the fact that it is just more challenging to parent a child like this in general. You will sacrifice all your time to assure that your son or daughter gets every resource available. The rewards make falling into bed exhausted at each day’s end completely worth the effort. My sons are truly special.

My oldest child is a nine year-old girl who is absolutely wonderful! I always say I don’t know what I would do without her. She is typically developing so she doesn’t need the same intervention that my boys have needed. However, we have been homeschooling her for over a year now so she does still get lots of attention. We both love it and I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything. But it is one more extra challenge to the time that is available for myself.

I consider myself very blessed with the three gifts I have been given. I love being a mom and treasure each of my children with all their uniqueness. But I am starting to realize that I have been losing me. I need some time for my own pleasures and reflections. I keep my spirituality with daily bible devotions and prayer but I also need to embrace my own gifts and talents God has given me. I lost so much of myself with a tumultuous childhood and it carried over into adulthood. Now I pour so much passion into making sure I raise my own children so they can know they are loved and develop good character and an appetite for life. They’ve shown me that I’ve been successful at this. Now it’s time I put some passion into my own life.

The writer in me has been aching to come out. I’ve kept putting myself last on the list but now realize that this is unhealthy. So I am going to embrace my inner writer and will be doing so every day. It will start with blogging and may flourish into other writing pursuits. This is my Mother’s Day gift to myself. I think it is going to make me a better Mom too. I’m back, in a big way.

What is your Mother’s Day gift to yourself?

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Don't Cry Over Spilled Soap

I have often been behind the eight ball, trying to squeeze too much in and feeling too often like I have failed. Lately though, I have found a better system of time management with a schedule that helps me to stay on top of everything (sort of). I am the mother of three children so being organized is essential.
One evening last week I was feeling pretty good about things. Armed with my new schedule I thought I had everything together. The house was clean, laundry was done, dinner had been cooked and eaten and most other tasks were completed. I was ready to get the kids to bed and have my husband come home from a long day to a relaxed wife. When David called to let me know when he would be home I told him about my great day. By this point, Kiersten and Jaiden were ready for bed and Ben was in the tub.
Ben is my five year-old. He’s a very sweet, passionate little boy with a PDD diagnosis on the autism spectrum. He is lots of fun but also challenging. Impulsive and obsessive-compulsive behaviors are forever making our life with him colorful.
As I was speaking with David, I began to get a strong scent of lemongrass coming from upstairs. It smelled delightful, just like my Dove body wash that I love. The smell got stronger and started to mix in with some other suspiciously delightful smells. I went upstairs still on the phone, a little uneasy about what I was going to find. Left to his own devices for more than two minutes Ben can get into the most creative shenanigans. I was praying that this was not one of those times.
As I approached the bath tub I saw Ben with a big grin sitting in what seemed like a giant latte. Even though I had removed all the shampoos and body wash from the tub he found them and decided to dump the contents of five bottles into the water. Yes, five! Lemongrass, coconut, watermelon, strawberry, and a little head n shoulders, all dumped out into a 4 by 2 foot space. I was beside myself and immediately hung up with my husband. Phrases like “What were you thinking?” and “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DID THIS!” flew out of my mouth in a string of frustration and annoyance. Ben’s grin was replaced with a look of panic as if to say, “Uh-oh, what did I do??”
This is not the first time Ben has dumped out bottles of shampoo and body wash. We have explained to him why this is wrong. Since it hadn’t happened in a while, I thought those days were behind us. Apparently I was wrong. He was crying now but I didn’t have much sympathy for his tears. I wanted to stay mad. I did not want to be swayed so he would learn his lesson. Yet looking into those puppy dog eyes and listening to him tell me how he was so, so sorry, I couldn’t help but forgive him. I melted, gave him a big hug and said I love him. After promising he would not do it again, I sent him immediately to bed with no story or toys so he would have to think about his actions. Ben has impulses that are difficult to control sometimes but he doesn’t mean to upset anyone. He simply gets carried away in the moment.
A curve ball had been thrown into the day I had hoped would end smoothly. I just had to laugh about it. You can’t take anything too seriously when you’re a mom or you will lose focus of what it’s all about (not to mention your sanity). My perfect schedule may get messed up sometimes but those messes make for some pretty entertaining stories and even better memories. Ben has taught me not to cry over spilled soap!

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

My First Blog Post Ever


My name is Yvonne. This is my new blog. I'm a stay at home mom with three children. I home school my almost nine year-old daughter, my almost six year-old son is on the autism spectrum and in a special school program, and my two year-old just started early intervention. My husband runs his own business and we are both extremely busy just like everyone else. However, we all need to make time for coffee talk (or tea). So please stop by for a visit anytime!